A Love Letter From My Daughter

Dear Mummy and Daddy-who-always-at-work,

Why is there so many work for me to do? Why is the weekend so short. Why are we always busy doing things? There is not much time left for me to do what I want to do. There are so many jobs. Going to school, sticker chart, piano lesson, making my bed, cleaning up my room, eat my dinner, eat my vegetables and swimming with my brother.

You always ask us to get ready quickly when we are going out but you are always the last one to get ready. I am tired. I don't want to do anything. All I want to do is arts and crafts, play with my DS and watch TV and stay at home.

At school, is it is hard for me. The girls are bossy. They scream in my ears. There are too many people wanting to talk to me, all at the same time. I miss my friends in Australia. I have lots of friends there. I only want to play with my imaginary friend. His name is Freeze. He came from the clouds with other puffles. He makes me happy.

My brother is annoying too. He always get all the attention. He always get what he wanted. I don't like playing with him. He always want to play by his rules. He makes this cute faces when he wants something. His face is ugly when he is naughty with me.

I love you Mummy and Daddy-who-always-at-work.

She is turning eight. I am enjoying this age immensely. I know this too shall pass before my eyes quicker than I wanted. I am giving her what she wanted. More time to herself. To do nothing. Without her brother. I truly can understand that.

Painting by Julia Trops - "The Letter"

Raising Nomads

I am becoming a better mum/plain mum/reborn mum. I am going to pat myself on the back. After Ignatia, a few good parenting books and one seminar, I was all inspired. So far, I think I am not doing too bad.

There was one line that I really like which was being used by the speaker in that parenting talk is we as parents should help our kids "unloading the bricks in the wheelbarrow". What a metaphor, simple but yet so descriptive. It is about (the talk not the wheelbarrow) how child's physical movements relate to their behaviour - detection and improvements. Also like how she ended the talk with - "don't expect your child to be perfect". How true. (I have accepted that my children are not gifted when they found talking about poos, bums and boobies are much more interesting than space-shuttles and genetic engineering).

The book which I have just finished reading - "Totto-chan - The Little Girl at the Window" has also inspired me. Its about Kobayashi's method of early childhood education in Japan before WWII. Imagine a school where there is no fixed timetable and you can choose which subject you want to do first thing in the morning and what you want to finish the day off with. Kobayashi (the principal) would sit with the kids at lunch and talk about their food. Very, very nurturing for the soul and awaken the interest in learning. Thank you Tetsuko Kuroyanagi for sharing that with us.

Well, I was feeling all positive after that and started a new regime at home. I have created a timetable for the time between after-school and before bedtime adopting those two ideas. So far, it has worked very well. Most importantly, we are all happy chappy especially me, moi, the grand dame.

Who says children are cute? What did I do in my previous life to deserve this? Such hard work, patience and perseverance of a Dalai Lama and Mahatma Gandhi put together. What did he say - patience is a virtue?

I shall strive for the restoration of peace and human rights of the people that live under my roof.

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat and more.....

I have never had a more challenging job than this. Being a full time housewife and mom is hard. I am physically, mentally, horizontally and vertically challenged. I take my hat off to all mom who has been doing this all their lives. This includes my mother who has seven children. No wonder she was weird when I was young. Now I understand.

I have only two children but some days I feel like I have a battalion. How do you get them to listen to you without repeating the same sentence 10 times in a span of 5 minutes? Yes, it is only a simple instructions like "let's go", "switch it off", "shoes on please". Give me $100m project anytime, I will make sure that its profitable. I will make it work. Kids, how do I deal with them? And why am I still complaining that I need "challenge"? For god sake, I have ample. All I need to do is to LIVE it and EAT it.

BUT there is nothing more satisfying than seeing them on the bike, pedalling on 2 wheels, soaking wet in the tropical rain, laughing. There is nothing more satisfying than when they say "Thank you mummy, I really had a great day today".

Love is such a simple word but even the most eloquent writer is not able to describe it.

Adjustments

We have found a house in Bukit Timah. The challenge is now to make that house a home. We will move in next week when our furniture arrives here. House is walking distance to both Sophia's and Johan's schools which is good. They will start school next week. Sophia is excited but Johan is the complete opposite. That would be my challenge. Kids teach you patience. I am adjusting to being at home. I was an absentee mother for the last two years. I am trying my very best to make up for the lost time. Tell you what - children are very forgiving.

I feel liberated not having to think (responsible/obligated) of work but at the same time I feel like I am loosing myself. I feel like I am loosing my identity as "Zana". This will be worse when the kids start school as I will be known as Sophia's mum and Johan's mum.

Nearly eight years now and I am still adjusting to motherhood.